Destroy All Humans Review – PS2

Destroy All Humans is, in my opinion, one of the best games ever to be made by humans (who didn’t get destroyed, ba dum-tish). Not because of reasons such as graphics, physics etc etc, but because it was fun. Created by Pandemic Studios and published by THQ, Destroy All Humans! was a hit seller on the Xbox and PS2.
Never before could a player create so much havock, without a grin the size of a small country plastered across their face. Set in the U.S.A in 1958, the story with sets itself around your typical “alien invaders section 8” mumbo jumbo, but time for real.
You play as a bad-ass killer Alien called Crypto, who out to collect human brain stems so he can take them back to his home planet for a reason I can’t recall (this may sound bad, but the story is kind of vague). You also find out that your brother/family/co race buddy (not actually sure who ^^) called Cryptonite 1387-B or something similar has been captured (the real reason behind Section 8) and you are ordered to go save him, however, this being America you can’t walk 2 paces without someone screaming Alien and attacking you (unsocial I know) which often leads to hilarious gun battles withwhat seems like the whole of the U.S army. To repel this “threat”, Crypto is armed with a hilarious array of weaponry, such as the
Anal Probe: Not what you think, the weapon literally suck an enemies brain out of their ass, killing them (obviously).
Disintegrator Ray: Never before was burning your enemies to ashes so much fun, but this time it was in style.
Zap-o-matic: This weapon stunned your enemies, allowing you to anal probe them (no sick thoughts please :P) or dispose of them in any other means neccesary.
And what use is an alien invasion if they don’t have their own flying saucer, which Crypto of course did, just this one packed quite a punch, and it doesn’t take a genius to work out what these weapons did:
Death Ray: Point, Shoot, Kill, end of.
Abducto Ray: Fling your enemies everywhere in a hilarious manner causing devastation to the people below.
Sonic Boom: An imaginative new weapon, allowing addicitive destruction of anything with four walls.
Destructo Beam: If the Death Ray was “point, shoot, kill” then this was point, shoot and HOLY **** I’VE BLOWN A HOLE IN THE EARTH! This weapon alone brings hours of fun.
Overall, I think Destroy All Humans! is one of the neatest games of the 21st Century, and at a mere £10 at most game stores, well worth it.

Gigai ^^


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